// Out Of Sanity Error

THIS IS ME.

2007-02-25T15:30:17Z

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I swear, this comic was MADE about ME. PERSONALLY. Like, they've been in my HOUSE every day WATCHING me.

Probably.

Surprise parties and other SHENANIGANS.

2007-01-17T19:28:44Z

So. You may have heard (or you may not have heard) that it's Malachiah's Birthday Tomorrow. This is very exciting and an event of great import, so Ham'eris, bless his wee socks, is rushed off his feet getting stuff DONE and ORGANISED.

In the spirit of secrecy, organisation and preparation for a party of garGANtuan proportions, I'm doing my bit by seeing if I can rest my feet on the top of my computer's third monitor without falling backwards off my chair.

Tests, so far, have proved inconclusive. Maybe I should put some clothes on or something.

Emayle!

2007-01-10T23:37:00Z

OI.

Just thought I'd let you know - you can HEE MAYLE me at ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT for LAUGHS and SHIT, should you so desire! You know, making this whole LOIVEJOURNAL thing a bit moar interactive, you know what I'm saying eh eh know what I mean I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANY OF YOU THOUGH. You're all GIRLS. Except Talulah, who's name I've probably butchered BUT I'M RETARDED SO I HAVE AN EXCUSE.

I'm also DRUNK and have my COCK OUT.

SO EMAIL ME.

Oh, email address. Nearly forgot. chibi.globular HAT gmail DAWT com. C'mon, of you think you're hard enough. I AM.

Nostalgia.

2006-12-23T11:53:58Z

Been playin' on Canis Canem Edit on the Pee Ess II a bit recently.

God, it reminds me of my old school so hardcore. Like, it brings tears to my eyes.

TEARS, I tell you! Ferret's testicles, I hated school.

ALT-Xmas!

2006-11-30T01:36:48Z

So yeah, thanks, guys! I had a great night, and it were proper luvvly, liek, meetin' y'all in person. T'was great. I really like it when I can interact with you guys out there, because, well, you know. Makes me feel part of your world as well as mine. And that's a really nice feeling. Flattering, like. Ace.

Love to y'all, you pile of reprehensible GOFFS. :D

Love! LOVE, SAY I

ZOMG

2006-11-27T12:15:45Z

I hear I will be at ALT-Xmas tonight.

Excellent.

I look forward to meeting y'all, and such. Also, I have a collossal hangover and I can't find my socks.

SOOOCCCKKKSSS.

Re: Alcohols

2006-11-23T11:30:42Z

About that last post: I hadn't just wee'd myself - according to Sheal, I'd done it earlier. Nothing to worry about! I have hazy memories of challenging some people wearing offensively bright clothes to an Honourable Duel, falling over a lot, and Tristan und Isolde. Someone's been messing with my CD collection, and it may have been me. Hmmm.

What else. Oh! yes. Oomph! are the best thing since my magnificent penis, and I suggest you all go steal their musics off the internets.

Speaking of my magnificent penis, it's bigger than yours and I may have it pierced (again). It's not like there's a problem finding room on it.

Hurk.

2006-11-09T20:38:28Z

I'm so pised i can't stand upp.

i think i just weed myself

Advice for Paris.

2006-09-02T17:39:30Z

Dear Paris Hilton,

So, so horrendously sorry to hear that no-one gives two tugs of a dead dog's cock about your new album/whatever. It must be v. upsetting for you.

Never fear, however! I have some advice for you on how to sell your music, what with me being a musician and all, and knowing this sort of thing. No, wait - put your pussy away. That don't come into it (unless my super-genius plan FAILS which it won't because I am awesome, Lizzie says so).

Become an emo kid.

If you are puzzled, I have drawn you a helpful guide on how you should dress:

See? Not too hard for a ..thing like you, eh? But look, see, 'cause emo kids are right popular at the moment, aren't they? So if you just disguise yourself cunningly as one and write songs about how life's just this one big black abyss and it's so dark and it's suffocating you, tightening its grip - tighter than Nicole Ritchie's jeans ~~(which don't look great on either of you, by the way, 'cause you're both fucking skeletons.)~~
And then you'll have, like, totally hawt emo BOYS harking to your songs 'bout getting dumped on. And they'll be all, FAP FAP FAP.

Lots of ~~love~~ insert non-love-related substance here,
~Bronzeye

'Splosions!

2006-09-01T11:19:38Z

As you should know by now, I like things what go "boom."

Lupie's little sis has a kit of things that do this most excellent fantasticness.

SO IS IT ANY SURPRISE THAT I NICKED BITS AND RIGGED THE LOO SEAT WITH THEM?

NO.

Lulz.

2006-08-28T21:26:15Z

SO I HERD THER WUZ THIS NEW BOY.

There is, too. He's this BIG GOFF boy and that's lol. I drood a pictur of him. LOOK:

I swear I don't even fancy him a tiny bit.

In OTHER news...

2006-08-25T13:21:29Z

... I have the mother of all headaches. I BLAME THE GOVERNMENT.

Or I would, if the Government herself wasn't actually in my house and wasn't behind me right now watching me type this.

Another thing NEVER TO DO.

2006-08-25T13:14:27Z

So I hear I've been sorely missed. (This is probably untrue.) Thus, for those wondering where the hell I've been, I offer the following advice:

Do not, under any circumstances, when your mate says he's just learnt how to mainuplate and breed brand new strains of virulent bacteria immediately consume his sealed sample jars proclaiming, "I am the Queen of France."

Yes, I have spent the last fuck-knows-how-long (ask him) in quarantine, intermittantly leaking bright blue stuff. I am never so much as touching Myrr ever again. And I advise you don't either.

A little evaluation.

2006-07-13T10:20:34Z

Myspace...versus Livejournal.

Sure, they've got murders, suicides and emo-kids, but you just can't beat the good old LJ-drama, can you? Like that one about the woman who shat everywhere in the flat and stuff. Remember that one? I've got the link somewhere if you're after it.

Still not convinced?

Well, if you visit a random LJ user's page, what's the likelihood that they're one of those floppy haired, lip-ringed clones, eh? EH?

I never found emo boys attractive, you know? I like 'em with a bit more bite, really. Anyone else agree?

Jesus! And probably... someone else, too!

2006-07-01T13:28:47Z

Where did those last few... whenevers... go, I hear you cry!
Where indeed.

Well. It's kinda like I've done a Leeroy Jenkins; failing to heed any advice and run in screaming.

Except without the gribblies and the swords.

Mal finally got us all together and we started doin' that BAND thing, with me having no idea about what we're playing and merrily bashing a couple of drums every so often to see if it works. I got yelled at a few times (Jeez, I was only grafting the cymbals to my head...) but I think I did rather well, overall.

And bugger me, it worked. We work. We're doin' that BAND thing, and it's sounding... well, cool. Like a BAND.

So here's to when we get a few gigs in the city. I can't wait! Free drinks and SEX! C'mawn! I know you're rooting for us!

Aren't you? I AM.

Yawwwn.

2006-06-21T17:42:29Z

The Calling was fun yesterday. I've never been before. Shame we left so early - I had MOAR DANCINGS to do.

My legs ache.

...Right.

2006-06-17T10:08:00Z

So I was like "What" and he was like "Yeah" and I was like "WHAT" and he was like "There" and I was like "Who?" and he was like "Them" and I was like "NO WAI!!!11"

Clean-up operation was hell.

Yes. Malachiah brought home boys last night and they slept on MY SOFA.

MY FUCKING SOFA. There was spunk crusted on my FUCKING CUSHIONS.

Christ spunking MARY. SPUNK ON MY CUSHIONS.

STILL tired wtf.

2006-06-14T14:28:17Z

I slept all yesterday. I'm still knackered today. Bummocks.

Oooh! A little bird told me that it's muura's birthday todaaaaaay! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU.

Ooh, how exciting. I'm all of a doo-dah now.

Vvvnn.

2006-06-12T09:49:14Z

Urghh. I think I ate too much last night. Full moon, see, and I got rather carried away.

Fuck. I feel like a water balloon. I'm going back to bed until I can move my limbs properly.

Tired, aching, bloated, but fuck it was a good night. Ohhhhhhyeah.

Oh, and...

2006-06-10T09:51:06Z

I just realised that my LJ icon is horribly JPEG-raped. NEW ONE. NOW.

::Edit::

Thank you, THANK YOU muura!! Aren't you a sweetie? I'll draw you something in return. Name your price and I'll give it a go. I am, you may want to note, a total genius at ARTS, so nothing's too big a demand...

Dionysus's toenails.

2006-06-10T09:49:32Z

I was talking to Thomas for most of last night. I came to realise that I can't get my head around all this. I know I'm real, and I'm me and stuff, but why am I in here? And how are there other... things like me in other people? What's going on? I don't tihnk I understand much. It makes my head hurt, so I'll stop.

What this threw into light was the idea of deconstructing myself. There are bits of my personality I'd rather not have, thank you very much, and if I could find a way of making them go away, I would.
The irritating thing is, it only takes this cocktail (lol, cock) of drugs for me to realise that I'm not functioning normally. I'm spastically (or is it spasticly?) hyper at some times, then reallyreallynot at others. What's with that?

SO. If I took both of these bits and put them in boxes, I'd be left oer with me like me and me as me...wait, lost that sentence there. I'd be left with me as I am at the moment. Yes.

But how do I do that? How do I section off bits of myself that I don't want? I don't want to spend all of my life on a bunch of pills in order to realise that I'm not crazy. When I don't have them, of course I think I'm sane. It's because I'm not.

God. Ow. Brain. Don't like it. DO NOT WANT!

Whatever. Mr. Speaker, we are for the big.

In other news, Mal's been putting about that he's shagged Thomas. Twice. Having spoken to Thomas, this is not the case, and SOMEONE'S been talkin' out of his arse. This is so funny, I think I might die. Gods above. I'm-a gonna have fun with this one for aaaaaages. Hwoyah.

Nngghhh.

2006-06-09T10:30:55Z

GhhhrrrrraaaaAAAAARRRGHHH.

Morning Bronzeye IS NOT HAPPY. Coffee. Now.

---imbibation caffeine in progress---

Have coffee. It's good. Ghhh. Fuck. Didn't sleep well last night. It didn't help that Sheal (bless his little arse) kept twatting me in the face with his arm every time he moved. I think he was dreaming about butterflies or whatever he dreams about that involves mass carnage and bloody violence. Ahhh.
Join me next time on "Bedtime with Bronze and Sheal" where I tie Sheal to the bed in order to stop him flailing about like a crazy flailing thing.

Hmmmm. Cables should suffice, and we have plenty of those. Hahar.

Nicked the hospital's As again. They never learn. They'll stop replacing them eventually, but it's taken them 300 years+ to realise the futility of their actions.

I hart my A collection. <3

::Edit::
I apparently have "Catharsis" by Rome Burns firmly lodged in my head. Have tried Rammstein to flush it. Nothing happening. Going mad. Need bleep. ARGH.
It's a really cool tune, but DUDENEEDBLEEP.

Time for wumpers, children!

Lol, drums.

2006-06-08T09:30:57Z

Bought new drums for bashing. They're so cool and shiny and BLACK and CUSTOMISABLE. I'm-a stick stuff on 'em. And bash 'em some. And...yeah.

So cool. (Yum yum, Mastah Cthulhoo would say.)

Butanyway. Mal was badgering me to do some remix of some track by some people and I was, admittedly, at first, somewhat dismissive, but since I am extremely cool (etc. etc.) I assented. It's a really good track, y'know? It's "The Waterbabes Are Drowning" by this Cambridge bunch of goffs called Rome Burns. It's an ace song. You actually think it's going to be this crazy techno dance track for the first few seconds, but then it's not, so I think that's what frustrated Mal into getting me to do this.

So it's now going to be pulled into some crazy shape by yours truely. Because I can. (Vee haff ze technologee! Vee can REBUILD YOO etc.)

Naah-nah na-na naaaah na nana NAAAAH THE WATERBABES ARE DROWNING naa-nana naaaah na naaanana AIR RAID SIREN doo-WOOOOOOO

Ahhh, it's going to be MASSIVE. Hyperhyperghyper no more caffeines.

Well, I never.

2006-06-08T06:43:26Z

I get back from a short break (ahem) and people are making journals wherever I look. So I asked, and, with a little badgering, I received.*

So yeah. Hi. Sorry, but. Hi. Yeah.

More caffeine, I think.

*And by "a little badgering", we mean MENTAL TORMENT OF +3 SMITING!

---

Also, I'm going to pretend I have this VAST readership and act all... popular, and stuff. 'Cause I'm just that cool. Yeah.

Oh, and Mal's gone totally mad with this "I want a band" thing. It's crazy. Still. At least I get to WHACK STUFF with STICKS. Hohyeah.